& the fragility of things will fall apart upon a touch

MOVED HOUSE

2009-01-28T06:57:00.000-08:00

kills blogger.
moved to here!

Run faraway:

2009-01-23T07:24:00.000-08:00

Dont wanna say anything,
Most prob closing down blog.
So angry and sad.
These two emotions don't mix.

hide and hope everything will go away

2009-01-22T04:19:00.000-08:00

im bingeing, on love letters and pineapple tarts.
today is a bad start,
and was a bloody lousy day,
so many things i wanna say but dont know how to put it all in a sentence.
test sucks to hell with it i dont care anymore.
like i will never going to score above three,
much less well enough to get into other jcs.
yeah im bloody well stuck in dhs for my life.
so lets all mug and work our bones to the death,
for a chance of being one of the graduates.
motivation, everybody have their a source of motivation but for me,
motivation is jc.
but my motivation is so not working cause other jc is bloody impossible and its just a dream thats far away.
like what they say,
dissapointment comes with expectations.
so let me not expect anything so i wont be tremendously disapoointed.
in short,
school sucks.

Losing faith,

2009-01-18T03:48:00.000-08:00

Im running away, slipping away
Tired, afraid.
You are always there for me but im always running away.
because in my heart i know i will never be good enough for you.
because there are so many uncountable sins that i dont know how to face you.
dont know how to pray with a pure heart,
cause im guilty, as guilty as any human on earth.
i believe in you,
but im tired.
and i dont know why im running, running away.

/.
"Late last night and the night before,
Tommyknockers, Tommyknockers,
knocking at the door.
I want to go out, don't know if i can,
'cause I'm so afraid
of the tommyknocker man."
-stephen king

Clothes are bloody ex nowadays.
"...promises to keep."

Guilt ain't a pretty feeling,

2009-01-17T05:46:00.000-08:00

yes, guilt ain't a pretty feeling.
fear too.
im feeling queasy,
like im geared to expect something bad happen.

Life can be such a bitch sometimes,

2009-01-15T06:13:00.000-08:00

If life throws you dirt, what do you do?
I'm buried in a whole earth of dirt, buried alive.
homework, grades, cash-flow.
So now as life chooses to be horrendous to me,
I THROW shoe at life. (inspired by the whole george bush drama)
But unfortunately I can't find life to throw at,
And that sucks.
By the way, say hellooo to my new sticker animal currently habiting my pencil case,
Call him/her/it rabu.

Mr Ng is super LOL.
Today was funny drama.
Someone keep bombarding him with lots of smses, (one day people will hate free unlimited smses)
First message of the whole twenty four SMS received in a few seconds:
"MR NG YOU ARE SO HANDSOME!"
Second mesage:
"just kidding, don't take it to heart..."
AWW. :D
But he is a good caring teacher though,
And he gets super funny at times,
Like hinting endlessly that he likes ba kwa.
Plus he is so much better than you know who I mean.

We said let go, but i kept hanging on

2009-01-09T20:05:00.000-08:00

School's fine,
but i have lots of hw to finish up.
LA teacher is superrr cool and funny!
he looks like santa claus.
You moved on.
cant get over you.

2009-01-08T04:55:00.000-08:00

tired, dead tired, zombie like tired, bloooody tired.
sleepy, homework piled up.
needa look for a job,
zzzzzomg how am i gonna cope.

2009-01-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

freaking superrrr tired and worried
i guess i have to work everyday after shcool :/
although i really dont wnt to,
but i gta help out.
and plus schwrk.
whr is my faith when i need it.
Lord,
provide like You said You will.

2009-01-06T04:24:00.000-08:00

castle building,
school tmr.
and life continues no matter what happens.
cosmo is funny.

i believed, i thought it was you.
i got my hopes up,
but then again,
its impossible.
cause we were never meant to be.
forever have passed us by,
it will never come back again.
all i can do is just move on and forget.
although in my heart,
you are irreplacable.

2009-01-05T02:11:00.000-08:00

Something to learn:
NEVER EVER EVERRRRRR EVERRRRRRRRR .....
SIT BETWEEN RACHEL AND JILLIAN.
its like a nightmare,
with double whacks on each side of the leg.
chase was fun,
although we spend like the whole day running here and there and everywhere.
waited in auditorium for the rest and the aircon made my nose runny, eyes itchy. :/
dismissed already,
realised that NOONE TAKESSS THIRTY.
except for daniel that is.
but... his not entertaining enough. ._.
tmr gta go ecp and build sandcastles,
and lets cross our fingers and hope for two things:
1) It doesnt rain. JUST.DONT.RAIN
2) Hopefully, someone does not fall on a just built castle
during chase the voice recording that we have to put ourself through and listen,
is horrible.
its a deep voice of a se pepe,
a high pitch voice of some crazy overly high girl,
and anthr one of a (finally!) kinda normal guy.
but gta thank the facios & organisers though,
it was fun!
:D
cheeerrrs everyone!!

2009-01-03T23:33:00.000-08:00

church tday
the love your neighbour shirt is nice,
but it kinda retarded to see a big grp of ppl wearing tht ._.
went to eighteen chefs for lunch
the food there is nice!
:D
hol hw still undone..
die. o.o

2008-12-31T04:48:00.000-08:00

im afraid
i wanna run but i cant.
mugging was... non effective
ended up playing monopoly and getting ripped off AND owned by jillian
next time dont do business with her
than played twister,
in the end also never get twisted. O.o
went off nw at hme,
gng countdwn soon,
after like speech of persuasion with my mum.
but jillian and rachel will not/not joining me for countdown. D:
sch reopening soon.
zzzz.

"I dont friend you le"
"for three seconds"
...
"HI FRIEND!" :D

2008-12-28T03:45:00.000-08:00

idc mbsin
it means i dont care my blog song is nice
anw thanks everyone for the xmas gifts :D
gayyyyyyyyyy!

2008-12-27T09:06:00.000-08:00

mr ng's trigo test paper is horrible
its freaking difficult like omg
hmm maybe my cousins ain't that bad after all.
they are just super straightforward

2008-12-25T05:26:00.000-08:00

today was skatingly fun!
went to get alex's (colleague) bday present at bugis
and then went to bedok to meet rachel,
then go to alex bbq.
me and jeremy were like trying to convince rachel that the shirts we bought for alex were one dlr
but it failed AWW
anw went there,
felt super weird with alex's unknown friends that were like from maple o.O
so went to blade!
it was sweatingly fun!

2007 Rollerblade Sugarfree Miam

This blade is superrr nice! its $169 though. D:

OH, and another one thats cheaper but nice too :D

2007 Rollerblade Sugarfree New York

And this is $139 and super nice too,

I WANT! ._.

2008-12-24T18:54:00.000-08:00

xmas countdown is fun :D
but jillian cnt join us D:
anw we were buying the snow foam spray thingy and we spam people
and some other ppl go spam a taxi
poor taxi driver can
it was a crazy, fun, snowy christmas eve night! :D
merry xmas to all btw! :)

2008-12-23T20:28:00.000-08:00

i get it now.

/edit

I FOUND JIRO'S BLOG!

its http://www.wretch.cc/blog/gyapower

yes, its fahrenheit jiro!

2008-12-22T02:18:00.000-08:00

this LG phone is nice i want!!
but its super ex. ._.
anw YESMAN is a super nice show.
say YES TO EVERYTHING!

rants, for once.

2008-12-19T21:57:00.000-08:00

okay deeeeeeep breaths
holidays are gonna end soon and and i haven rly do much hol hw yet and i still have tuition trigo test and there are only two mre wks to sch reopening and i haven start on xmas gifts yet. okay im dead.
and i just realised what a bad friend i am
okay i will try harder but its not that i dont care its just im kinda anti social .__.
there i said it.
okay now im off to popular and getting gifts.
okay nw everyone will know where my presents c0ome from.
heyyy, its hard to come up with xmas gift ideas for someone thats as broke as me.
shall end here and somehow i regret quitting the toy job cause im kinda slacking at hme right now and okay fine, growing fat.
oh and dont ever watch the day the earth stood still.
it totally waste your time.
but if you get real bored,
try throwing popcorns at ppl in front of you.
hundred percent fun guaranteed, except for the getting caught part.
twilight's nice,
but the nick whatever guy dont look as handsome in long hair
in fact he reminds me abit of michael jackson. ._.

2008-12-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

this post is one day late but still,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILLIAN! :D
you have grown older by one year so lesser arguments with me (right?)
anw all the best in whatever you do. :]

awww... this post is dedicated to you
im so nice. LOL.

2008-12-15T04:58:00.000-08:00

at least that was what i thought
and now im beginning to wonder.

2008-12-11T20:48:00.000-08:00

damn

2008-12-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

like... wth.

2008-12-10T22:09:00.000-08:00

Sian, my lunch break gonna be over soon :(
Working is fine,
But the presence of a certain human makes work hell
We wake up super early to open the damn tent under the super hot sun
And then that human have the brains to come only after we opened the store
The human never do anything that contributed to opening the store whatsoever,
And Just walk in and complain about everything there is to complain
Feel like just walking off and say "I FIRE YOU!!!"
But I'm determined for that forty plus bucks per day
Found out that the store beside us
They receive more pay!!!
And they don't even have a supervisor
Sian can.
Shall end here and, go back to work D:

Oh btw,
Jillian you are so gonna love the present me and Rachel are giving you :D

2008-12-09T04:48:00.000-08:00

imh
D:
working tmr sighhh
and i bought a bag for sch and sl says its lao tu
WLAO. LOL.
but rachel says its nt
nvm shall trust in rachel taste
i wna quit wrk
but my mum says if i dont wrk i gt no money
siannn i wna quit i dun wna see that faggy woman again.
O.o

2008-12-07T06:48:00.000-08:00

wait for you

2008-12-05T17:46:00.000-08:00

YES GONNA BE RICH LATER!
getting my pay.
i want the crappy file
but its sold out. D;

2008-11-25T21:06:00.000-08:00

stoning right nw,
waiting for three thirty. .__.
working is actually fun
and its a good way to pass time.
haha and rachel is working tooo! :D
ytd during lunchtime ate with jillian,
vry long never argue with her already! O.o

oh, and i will let go and start all over again,
and there will be no more vengeance in my heart
cause life's just like that.
why is my blog song not playing. D:

耀眼的你。

2008-11-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

说了也等于没说
为什么我每一次好不容易忘了你的时候，
你又再一次出现闯进我的世界

2008-11-22T05:30:00.000-08:00

im feeling damn guilty nw
just realised what a bad friend i am
sorry sorry sorry
and somehow sorry just doesnt seem enough

突然，好想念你的笑声。

2008-11-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

i currently have the most horrible flu in my flu histories
just used up two boxes of tissues today
nose just loves running D:
cant work cant go trng cant stay awake for too long (im feeling drowsy nw)
all i did was eat slp eat slppp :((
haha work is fun
statue of liberty with bubble gun!
haha shud have a pic
shall end here and go back to slp, again.
oh and jillian is back!!
YAY! :D

2008-11-16T07:27:00.000-08:00

Was sleeping and then got woken up by a call O.o
Hospitality is fun,
And it helps me to get my mind off stuffs

You know, today I realized what true friends are and I still couldnt believe you did that.
And it was at that moment I realized how slow I was to notice those who really cared for me and those who just cared about themselves.
true friends are hard to find,
So treasure them when you can.
The whole day, I was thinking,
Why would anyone actually be like that,
And yet that's how the world is.

2008-11-14T23:07:00.000-08:00

I have unbelievably survived one week of stonage!!
Work is boring boring boriiiiing
Can't believe I quit the orchard toy job for a boring one :(
I need to start on my hol hw SOON D:
I wanna go overseas!

I don't care anymore.

2008-11-11T05:08:00.000-08:00

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
iris, goo goo dolss

words spoken on the spur of the moment
are often words in one's heart.
noone understands me,
im always the one thats smiling
and words can either heal or hurt,
words as powerful as knifes that cuts one's soul.

Empty words

2008-11-09T05:47:00.000-08:00

/edit

想哭

empty words.

2008-11-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

5today wanted to go job trng but then decided to quit ._.
so quitted with denise,
than went to meet em and had interview.
I WANT GO THE NICK CONFERENCEEEEEEE
but i couldnt D:
and rachel and pearlyn and sandy the lucky ones got to go!
i wna go D:
haha i wonder how is it like.
i miss jillian and rachel D:
lets go out soooon! :D
I WANT SCH BACK. .__.

2008-10-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

heh i changed back blog again! :D
sch today was BORING WITH ARCHERYYY D:
but it was fun on the way back home! :D
me and rachel (SHE FINALLY COME BACK TO SCH!!) were playing barbie uno on the bus ._.
and then she shout STRESS super loud
we were like oops O.O
than everybdy turn and look -.-
BUT IT WAS FUNNNN.
yay cashflow tmr,
hopefully real cash will flow into MY pocket :D
job trng on thurs
wish me luck
i wna earn moneyyyyy!
cause i need to save it for uni and stuff .__.
track trng tmr,
i guess.
hmmm peishan enlightened me with her faith in Christ
and her strong faith that allowed her to love her enemies and in fact everyone
haha peishan u are a good example kay.
shall try to be like her. :D
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

imyimyimyimyimyimyimyy :(

2008-09-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

I HATE EOYS

2008-09-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

friends are merely words hung upon your lips,
they are just like air
that people grasp tight on with hope and love,
but they slip away and in the darkness of the night,
sneak upon you and hurt you.
its so easy for one's heart to turn cold,
mine is.

2008-09-20T04:08:00.000-07:00

i no longer know,
which faces are real and not hidden.
im tired of seeking,
finding in the crowd someone without a mask.
i shant speak,
lest it hurts someone.
i dont want to play pretends anymore,
pretending to be happy when im not,
when all i want is just some rest,
away away from this place

the world shall sing of its ugly beauty
as the people weeps.

2008-09-19T21:24:00.001-07:00

i never knew i could hurt like this,

2008-09-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

the world shall sing of its ugly beauty,
lets hide all our innocence within,
for lies are unseen,
& the tears shall flow freely
sorrow shall fill the emptiness.
wounds will never heal,
i never again want to feel.

2008-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

bio mini drives me nuts
i still dont know whats subway
and i think i wont rmb whats jco doughnut.
mugging is non effective im still slacking
and i think my bro passed me my sorethroat.
zzzzzzz i feel like killing him

2008-09-14T05:08:00.001-07:00

noone understands
noone sees the me in me.
dont go, please.

2008-09-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

I NEED TO MUGGGGGGGG.
zzz trigo KILLS.
esp three dimensional figures
like I JUST CANT VISUALISE
a prism is a prism.
so why make it so cheeeem.
zzz i dont ever wna eat a slice of cake/cheese anymore
or anything that have to with prisms/cylinders/cones D:
today is ~~quite~~ productive mugging
(although i fell aslp)
tuition tmr
EOYS COMING
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.
im like dead rarr maybe maybe exam papers all stolen
YAY.

2008-09-10T03:24:00.000-07:00

words are unspokenable,
respect is non expectable.
watched a video on caning today.
prison seemed okay,
like there is free food
and you get to exercise everyday (by marching under the hot hot sun)
so you wont grow fat .__.
okay actually the caning looks scary.
read a documentary regarding cannibalism ytd. ;O
its is like gross!
and the guy didnt go to jail or anything.
he just went free D:
he is like still alive nw (i guess)
so when you see him err run away!
as in i dont mind dying in a stupid way
like dying of laughter or dying of drinking too much water (eh, someone die before of these okay)
but nt dying so as to be eaten
by a human somemore.
read matthew,
it is super meaningful
parts of end of the earth scares me though. :/
like those fruitless vines will be thrown into the fire,
where there will weeping and gnashing of teeth.
sch is boring,
it ends at like four fifteen today.
train ride back is lol. O.o
rachel stay away from me,
DMZ ZONE! :D
fries is nice
& we were trying to finish it off quickly,
so that we cn board the train.
so we had a competition regarding eating fries.
& we looked retarded.

i will run,
& if i fall & you catch me,
you can use me, take me, and break me baby,
for you were everything to me
and i am nothing to you ;

2008-09-08T04:28:00.001-07:00

if there is more than a meaning to life,
than tell me what is it
cause i wanna know.
cause i can no longer see a point in whatever im doing now.
what is it that makes me so speechless?
that makes me so numbed,
so expressionless.
i want to scream,
i want to vent out my anger,
i want to cry.
but who hears me?
and time moves on,
it waits for noone.
& everyone moves along with time,
aimlessly or not,
& leave you behind.

2008-09-07T04:35:00.000-07:00

been thinking alot today
esp during tuition
(although its not kinda appropiate time to think) .__.
everytime you only make me cry,
i dont know what to do anymore.
take a bow,

2008-09-06T03:08:00.001-07:00

what have i let slip,
why did i miss the chance?

imy & have always loved you,
all this time

2008-09-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

hol is meant to be for mugging
but im like slacking D:
v for vendetta is super nice
i watched it twice! :D
i feel sad for v :(
he have to live in vengeance
& cnt go with evey D:
everybody must watch v for vendetta!!! :D

i will wait,
even if its for forever,

2008-08-31T02:46:00.000-07:00

i think mr ng is right.
what is the point of going to church,
when its so hypocritical?
we go to churches on sun,
we weep and cry and shout
"Lord Lord!"
yet how many of the hands stretched wide open are sinless, blameless?
how many of the people that weeps follows God's ways?
when monday comes,
we forget about God.
we judge people,
we speak without thinking.
we hurt others,
we insult others.
yet we have never seen the sawdust in our eyes,
we never see our faults.
when tuesday comes,
we forget about God.
we lie,
we mock,
we criticise,
we pretend.
by wednesday,
we dont live for God anymore.
we live for ourselves,
we follow our ways,
we have our quiet times,
yet we never follow the Bible's ways.
and sunday yet again,
we weep and cry and shout
"Lord Lord!"

Greater is He in me,
Than the one in the world.

2008-08-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

i need the eoy spirit D:
eoy is coming D:
IM STRESSSED .___.

& love shall ruin the world,

2008-08-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

unspoken words,
im lost,
& i no longer know what i have been searching for.
feelings unexpressable,
words lost & stolen away
blindfolded,
got to find a way out

2008-08-22T02:50:00.000-07:00

what is it that we spent our entire lifetime searching for
& yet could never find,

the fragility of things will fall apart upon a touch,
& shattered glass will wound the wounded.

2008-08-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

today is a retarded day as usual
pccg is hilarous,
rachel have a new face: her hair and jillian hair is err okay shant mention
later she whack me again .__.
anw im bored cause lessons is boring and life is filled with boredom

pics kupped frm ht :D
anw sat gng out was fun,
although the fireworks didnt really catch it
but thanks for the ride back
& it was fun :D

:D

:D

:D

mark the beholder of the mask,
look beneath and one will see
evil that one trusts.
so lets wonder,
when will we ever be free.

its a wonder,

2008-07-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

bad mood today
i dont know,
sorry everyone for being eztraordinarily ap.
esp for yelling
anw, thanks jiamin for doing the LA and helping me through the film. :D
i dont know whats happening to me,
im fed up with practically everything ranging from tests to tests and seeing someone for one hr per day
sorry once again.

if there is a time machine,
i would have fly back into time
& change how things have been,
& make it better, or even fine.

but then again, i dont have one,

sunshine

2008-07-23T04:46:00.000-07:00

teach me to be quick to love, slow to hate
quick to love, slow to judge
quick to think, slow to speak
quick to forgive, slow to anger

sometimes,
one really wonders.
but then again,
look at the sawdust in your eyes before judging.

2008-07-20T03:12:00.000-07:00

stoning at macs nw.

and ht phone went swimming!

.__.

this getting so ridiculous,

double words diff meanings.

i shant say anything,

the other side of truth

2008-07-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

they tape tape over your mouth,
& scribble out the truth

like seriously,

damn rarr fire dead crash war

2008-07-16T05:57:00.000-07:00

i dont know,
bad moood D:
biology kills me,
so does math esp binomials.
chem kills me,
esp QA,
chi bores me.
la cheem me to death,
history too old.
ace still okay,
pe sian.
everything is boring
sighhhh it seems like we have so much time in our hand,
but actually we dont.
im crapping?
.___.
today is fun
although cnt go nats D:
went bugis,
walked around and crap.
rockery is super nice!
okay back to digesting human digestion
and pondering over what to wear on fri.
hmmm O.o

2008-07-15T02:15:00.000-07:00

lessons were borng :(
and math quiz was quite diff :(
and worse of all mr siva wont be teaching us tmr D:
lol i miss him always quoting that life is nothing but a shadow
and and even my grandmother cn run faster than you :D
tmr will be finals for the juniors.
jiayou! :DD
wna go down and watch,
but no more tickets D:
hope that mr tang can get tickets for us.
lol gng home today was fun and gay!
we were trying to say "red lorry yellow lorry" very fast .__.
than wd "jing di zhi wa wakaka"
jiayun must have thought that we were crazy O.o
and we were like peishan i wna be your neighbour than everyday gt nice food eat
than what live above her cut a hole in ceiling .__.
la tmr D:

2008-07-14T02:34:00.001-07:00

the sun would fly and the sky would drop and donkeys will start raining down,
if i get what i really realllyyyy want.
but it wont make a differece anyway because it will just be a dream that never comes true
sigh. its just exasperating.
big word :D
i shall just sit back, relax and watch it happen.
like what cn i do. -.-
so yeah, sigh.
anwway today was fun and mongolia song is funny.
sky is blue and grass green.
whatever, back to studying.
like what else cn i do, yo.

2008-07-11T01:37:00.000-07:00

the window, the window, the second storey window!
with a heave and ho and a mighty throw,
i throw you out of the window! :DDDD

2008-07-08T04:53:00.001-07:00

sigh
lessons are sigh
timetable is sigh
hw is sigh
sighhh
and eoy is sigh
eleven wks
SIGHH,
im so gonna die to the point of dying? O.o

im pised and i feel like using sivaism
and i hope i will use it well and hws are killing me
and wow i have transformed into a bird
BUT at least i cn fly!!! :D

2008-07-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

im tired and i dont know what to say
tried posting pics but it hanged
hancock is gay

i dont know but its just what do you expect me to say?
i dno wd to do anymore i just wna stone to death
haha weird wish
and im creative
in reference to plastering slippers!

2008-07-02T05:22:00.000-07:00

one step, two steps, three steps
countless steps away, away
bigger gaps,
no explanation,
true wonder.

2008-06-28T18:26:00.001-07:00

this is a very very evil wish
but i hope the retarded idiot that took my phone will
lose his/her wallet and handphone
get irritated by all the passwords in my phone
throw it into dustbin in public
some nice nice cleaner see it
RETURN ME!!!!!
OR.
the retarded idiot changes sim card and put in my phone
than the number is sent to my mum's phone
MUAHAHAHAAHAH

i want my hp backkkk. :(
I WANT MY HP BACKKKKKKKKK
GIVE ME BACK MY HP YOU RETARDED IDIOT
RARRR

okay i know im complaining alot.
i shall go back to mourning my phone .___.

2008-06-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

silence, awkward silence in the air
frustration, contempt, tiredness hanging like a stench, an odour
a wall, an invisible wall, reasons unable to pinpoint,
unbreakable, holding two worlds apart
attempts failed, not even a crack appeared.

i read from simpson's book at kinokuniya today,
something about life
it says,
" who knows you are just a brain in a jar at a mad scientist's laboratory"
yeah good point,
like who knows we or me is or are just a science experiment of a mad scientist or a crazy alien .__.

wondering, how those insensitive words can just be spouted out from a mouth,
like a breath so silent, so ordinary
and yet its like a knife with sharp blades,
cutting through one's mind of ease
thoughtless, meaningless,
words, those few words full of contempt
spreading, words spreading like the flames in a forest,
haze so thick that it covers the truth

you dont even know me,
yet words are placed in mouths of others and i dont even know you,
as in close/very close/super close enough.
thats why one should be wary,
you never know what happens.

ytd was fun,
& get smart is retarded! :D
anw ht cheer up,
you will be out of the hse sooner than u think!
its cool i managed to meet sars and manda :O
it was fun and guess what!?!
we met ms neo too
or mrs neo :DDDDDDDDD

darkness, hiding the truths
cover, for lies;
people, wearing masks
hidden, wary of others;

2008-06-25T05:13:00.001-07:00

thoughts that are crammed in a box in my head that is going to burst anywhere, anytime
rudeness and insensitivity.
i dont know what to say dont think i should say anything ahhh nvm. .___.
anyway today is anthr boring elective day and i feel bored to death but ps apparently begs to differ.
i feel weird typing in perfect eng
it kinda freak me out
maybe the teacher influenced me!
joyluck club is freaking meaningful and had lots of meanings in it that made perfect sense
like how you know something is going to fall apart, and do nothing about it

a quote that strikes me!
}when something that violent hits you,
you cant help but lose your balance and fall.
and after you pick yourself up,
you realise you cant trust anybody to save you.
so what can you do to stop yourself from tilting and falling all over again?"

i dont know what to say cause if i start opening my mouth im afraid awful liquid will spill out and ruin the earth.
okay thats dumb
anw sun was funny cause cass liked the carrot drink :D
today was fun too gng out with martians. (:
only thing i dont look forward to now- everything.

im like :O and i dont know what to do im stoned and i will be doing things i dont like unfortunately because i dont want to get kicked out
and if i get kicked out i will be so dead like dead and yeah, become a corspe
i realise today how awkward it was and how irritated i was and how unfair life was and how God punishes us for sins and how we should be afraid and its too much cause it all came like a lightning bolt.
inspirations and new discoveries that are ugly and which i prefers it to be kept hidden but unfortunately it rather goes out and im quite sick of flaws including myself and yeah i just wanna stone forever until i meet god in heaven.
thats a handful and i shall go back to cutting beards and lightning bolts and reading my best friend macbeth and not to forget look forward to elective.

"and i think now that fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention.
but somehow when you lose something you love,
faith takes over.
you have to pay attention to what you lost.
you have to undo the expectation.

joyluck"

2008-06-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

long time since i blogged.
happy belated birthday sister! :D
elective is boring.
like totally.

quotes from macbeth:

"What is a traitor?
Why, one that swears and lies.
And be all traitors that do so?
Every one that does so is a traitor and must be hanged.
And must they all be hanged that swear and lie?
Every one.
Who must hang them?
Why the honest men.
Then the liars and swearers are fools, for there are liars and swearers enough to beat the honest men and hang up them."

"Prithee, peace:
I dare do all that may become a man;
Who dares do more is none."

2008-06-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

thanks to all that wished me a happy birthday! :)
esp thanks to sister and cass for staying up late just to wish me happy birthday!
love all of you lotttttttts :DD

2008-06-13T06:52:00.001-07:00

sorry for losing my temper :(
was upset for not being able to stay awhile longer :(
anw thanks very much for the cake :)
cass you're so dead on your birthday!
peishan you too! :D
love yall and thanks! :)

2008-06-10T22:23:00.001-07:00

hmm food for thought
lots of food for thought
like what actions convey
maybe one day my brain will explode
for the moment its stoned
cant go to church :(
hol hw is killing me
not like i started anw

2008-06-04T05:42:00.000-07:00

putting words in one's mouth
pissed and angry but not toally flaring blind anger
wondering,
when i grow old,
will i be lying in a hospital bed,
& when visiting time is here there ain't anyone visiting me
or when i grow old & senile,
& have great confusion,
difficulties in remembering the faces of people i loved
where everything will become a great blur
& a memory span of only five minutes.
when i grow old,
will i die healthy or die ill
will i be in & out of hospital or enjoying retirement at home
the future is so unpredictable.
i dont want to grow old,
i dont want to be at a age where school is no longer a routine,
where i have to go to work & cant have recess and lunch breaks
& need not ask teacher for permission to go to the washroom
& cant have shoppings and watching movies and projects and hanging out with friends after school
where life seems so easy with just studying & the money part left to parents
i donnnnnnnnt want to grow old
never,

2008-05-31T23:44:00.000-07:00

first week of hol & im bored
gng out ltr
gng to be broke soon
i miss jillian's hangman & sister's energy zap :(
i miss "jay chou" singing at the back of class :(
i miss so many things in sch :(
& hol just started :(

2008-05-31T00:03:00.000-07:00

stoning at home now.
i miss school

My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

2008-05-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

finally found a blogskin that i liked
lifes well & hols are boring
magicbox, wondering if its worth it
hol hw untouched.
bored,
to death

2008-05-21T02:59:00.001-07:00

lies and deceit
dreams shattered
smiles, faces everywhere
blood, laughter, cries, ignorance
or is it really just feigning?
glares, stares, tears
walk, walk
i walk myself away
away, to the rainbows

2008-05-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

level camp was fun,
esp the looooooooong trips on the bus
walking around was boring however,
listening to guide explaining and drifting
from turtles to mango trees to gardens
yeah easily out of topic
pics in anthr computer,
uploading it if i have the time
zzzz nw that camp is over,
hw is here
and june hol
which means finding jobs and earning money
physics and math test and la speech this week
im gonna die
oh and not to forget the wonderful prob
only one thing to look forward to:
interclass
and and the cell meeting wih jacq :D
haha i suppose school is boring and yeah it brings problems too
so three cheers as hols is around the corner & waving to me
oh i should have went for the trip in muar
to spend my hol
zzz guess deadline is over :/

i cant take, to see you here with him,
you are just a priceless work of art,
in his gallery;

2008-04-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

im an atheist
i wish.

2008-04-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

girl, oh girl why are you running?
the flowers,
why they are so pretty.
the sky,
why its so blue.
tell me girl, oh tell me,
why are you running?
the flowers look so pretty,
but when i stroked their lovely petals and stem
there were thorns.
thorns that cuts into my skin,
so deep and so real.
but girl, oh girl,
why the sky is so blue
so tell me, girl, why are you running so?
i glanced up and admire the sky,
but it turned grey
thunders bolt down,
the rain never stops failing.
the sun, why, the sun
it shines so brightly at me,
as if trying to blind me.
a nightmare, its a nightmare.
girl, oh girl,
why do you look so tired?
i thought i saw a nice flower i could pick,
but whenever i was about to pick it,
why, the thorns cut into my skin,
so deep, so real.
this happened many times,
thats why, oh thats why i run.
girl, oh girl,
than why do you still try to pick a flower that looks nice,
when you know they are going to cut into your skin real deep.
memories, why the lovely memories.
its enough to get me by.
girl, oh girl,
than what about the scars on your hands,
so deep and so real?
im tired, im tired so
but tell me, oh tell me,
what can i do except to run?
stay here, oh stay at this beautiful nightmare?
or search,
search for that one dream that could perhaps come true.
girl, oh girl,
wounds dont heal,
it just leave you a stiched up wound.
no, wounds will heal,
scar, its just an ordinary scar.
oh girl,
when will you learn?
girl, oh girl,
how long more can you run?
everywhere,
why girl,
everywhere there ain't no such things as beautiful flower.
search,
oh search you foolish girl.
but one day with deep, real wounds,
you will learn.
oh girl,
you will learn.
a sin to kill a mockingbird?
why girl,
noone listens.
your footsteps,
why its just a breeze that comes and go.
girl, why girl,
the pain in you,
noone will understand.
the loss,
noone experienced.
light, there ain't no such thing.
its just a light that lures you into the dark.

2008-04-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

bio test
sigh
sore eyes
sigh

rachel and jillian came today after sch
and rachel is crazy
she loves goldfish

tails.
O.o

2008-04-22T05:10:00.001-07:00

将心比心,

2008-04-22T04:50:00.001-07:00

seriously,
i rather you tell me what is your problem with me,
than to have you talk behind my back
and look as if you hate me.
okay wait you do hate me.

the world?
its funny.
people?
they are crazy.

you just want to laugh when you see all that mob of people vying for that spotlight
american idol?
more like crazy people.

dont climb,
DONT CLIMB,
stop pause stay behind and watch as people clamber to the top
close your eyes as you hear the helpless screams as they fall to the ground
the pain. the pain can you feel it?
only those who have climbed to the top and fall
know that its not worth the fall for the view,
the view that lasts for a moment.
a moment,
and thats it.

2008-04-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

white chicks is LOL.
its TTTKA.
time to totally kick ass.
and its not just a bag,
its PRADAAAAAAA.
had a real good laugh cause its seriously bimbo.

2008-04-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

mr harris said something super meaningful today
he said,
" the good thing about growing up,
is that you no longer care what people says about you."
yeah, i think its true.
i think if singaporeans have the right to bear arms,
there will be homicides everyday.
everyone is going crazy, mad at pratically everything and everyone every moment.
its just a matter of time before the mind goes, "SNAP!"
or probably it already did.
and perhaps noone is dumb enough to commit suicide,
having everyone calling you the stupid one or the crazy one
might as well have homicide
everyone will watch what they say in future.
tension will be everywhere,
i sound like a potential killer. -.-

sunday service is fun,
wearing a bright red vest with a bright red/white umbrella
saying WELCOME TO FCBC! GOD BLESS YOU!
:D
the feeling is just different when you serve God.
i learnt to trust in Him.
when im walking on a rocky road barefooted,
the Lord carries me.
when im walking on a paved road,
the Lord smiles with delight as He watches me run happily
when i fall,
He is always walking behind me.
catching me, carrying me, watching me, helping me, loving me,
and most amazingly,
always

2008-04-20T20:03:00.000-07:00

God bless me later,
that all well ends well.
and i brave on a smile. (:

2008-04-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

" i dont promise to carry you out of the storm,
but i promise to bring you on and be with you always. "
thats what Jesus said.
and it touched me.
if we escape, than how, how can we get stronger?
so face it.
no dont run,
face it in your face.
stare at it right through,
stand tall and straight,
be happy and strong,
for you have the love of God.
practice what the bible says,
be a true christian.
can do this.
i say,
i can do this.
i can brave everything through.
quitting is not the option.
yes, its not an option.

2008-04-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

VERSE 1Your love reaches out to me
Your grace has made a way to You
Made a way to YouYour word lives inside of me
Your truth is life to all who hear
Life to all who hear
PRE-CHORUS
We live for You
Live Your truth
CHORUS
May Your Kingdom come
And Your will be done
As we serve Your heart
Serve Your heart
Let salvation flow
As Your people pray
Lord we long for more
Long for more
VERSE 2
In You death is overcome
No power can stand against Your Name
The power of Your Name
In faith we will rise to be
Your hands and feet to all the earth
Life to all the earth
PRE-CHORUS
We live for You
Live Your truth
CHORUS
May Your Kingdom come
And Your will be done
As we serve Your heart
Serve Your heart
Let salvation flow
As Your people pray
Lord we long for more
Long for more

2008-04-19T21:38:00.000-07:00

you dont even know me

christians,
what a word with no meaning in it.

2008-04-19T09:52:00.001-07:00

im fine :]
and today service is great! ;D
esp the korean pastor,
she super cute can.
ht, takecare kay
must must MUSTTTTTTTTTTTTT takecare
ya i say MUST takecare
cheer up :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
:) to the power of one million trillion
the good Lord will always be watching over you! :D

God is always there,
forever is there.
was on the train home when i felt an impulse to open my bag
saw the christian book i bought a long time ago
took it out and read it
it was very meaningful

you know, i dont care anymore.
God has brought His message through and i understood.
God loves me.
there are friends that loves me.
and rach, i know my word makes sense.
why it alwayyyys make sense! ;D

live in your world and i live mine.
i can live through this,
because God will always be watching over me.
so will be my friends. :)
and i say,
lol at you.

2008-04-18T20:22:00.001-07:00

people are not who you think them to be
they are who they want you to think them to be

2008-04-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

you walk on the streets,
everyone looks at you,
but they can't see the real you inside.
you fake a smile and laugh everything through,
but noone sees the hidden truth in your eyes.
you wished someone would be there to understand you,
but noone wants to listen.
somehow the streets you thought were colourful and lively,
became dark and grey.
you tried running away,
but the loneliness seems too much to bear.
so you walk on the streets with a brave smile,
heart on armour and feelings in a bottle
they tries to see the truth in your eyes,
but you turn them away with lies.
you dont want them to know the real you,
you thought the dagger would hurt more without its armour.
so you tried to be joyful and sing of joy,
you dont want anymore sadness and hurt to creep into your heart
they dont know you,
and don't know what you're feeling inside
but the daggers just kept coming through and through
they mock,
the armour is falling soon,
with all the holes and wounds in it.
so you put on anaesthetic so that you feel no pain
you want to cry and run away,
but somehow you have to brave it.
you start pondering where is God?
trainings, obstacles, there to make you stronger bible says.
you say they make you numb, oblivious and fake instead.
wrong to doubt God, bible says.
what about brothers and sisters that are suppose to love you, you say.
walk, walk on the streets
look, LOOK WITH YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN!
see, can't you see the mocking smiles hidden within?
what are you going to do about it?
you find something to do,
to while away the time and numb the pain
numb, not heal.
for how can you heal when knifes come throwing at you every minute?
your fault, your fault you says
everything is your fault,
your attitude, youir personality sucks you say.
but thats what you have became,
thats what you have changed into.
you thought you were stronger and happier.
but instead you have became a mockery to others.
smile, you still smile
one day someone is going to rip off that smile off your face.
they already did.
time after time, why they already did.
with your heart you trust those you loved,
and thought they were who you thought them to be
lies, why everything is deceit.
trust is merely a word,
a word that have been erased and crossed out many times over in your head.
you believed in believing so you continued trusting
you saw that person down the streets before,
the one that had smiled at you and mugged you
but you bravely went down the street,
heart on armour, feelings on guard
you thought perhaps you could trust that person again,
trust not to mug you or hurt you
the person smiles at you,
you smiled back.
walked towards you, said hi,
and you stupidly replied back.
you trusted again,
regaining it slowly but surely.
but the person never saw the trust you have given,
why the person dont even give a damn.
you thought perhaps there is a rainbow after a rain afterall,
but one day later you realised all was false.
guards on, guards on.
since when have you forgotten that?
everything taken, everything stolen away
everything that have been built up over time,
everything that you have been regaining slowly.
trust, hope, love, joy, happiness.
all taken away
and you stand on the streets,
unsure anymore of what to do.
cold, so cold, you shivers.
where's the warmth, you asks
you run down the dark grey streets,
looking for some warmth,
but to find none
oh you, no warmth for you
youre hungry and begs for food
but their eyes were hard and cold,
sneers on their mouths.
finally, finally the smile is gone,
they said.
and you were hungry and cold,
everything seems so bitter,
so dark, so evil.
no, you are not going to trust them anymore,
you said.
you have learnt your lessons finally,
finally indeed.

2008-04-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

i suck.
and i shall shut up
noone understands me
never will.

lol at this world,
lol at myself.

I'm a nightmare, a disaster.
you're right, you're right, you're right
the only words i could think of.
and no its not sarcasm.

2008-04-15T07:06:00.000-07:00

i thought
somehow things just dont turn out the way you imagine them to be
and somehow people will reveal their true colours sooner than you think
you will realise that everything in this world is full of deceit, hatred and jealousy
jealousy is the root of all evil
not money.
its so funny when sometimes jealousy is dressed in shimmering clothings,
so obvious with the wearer oblivious
twisted lies and twisted truths
someday noone will be sure of the wearers behind the masks anymore
we will just look at each other and see an ugly reflection
everything is so repulsive, so quick, so cruel
one day everyone will be glad when death comes knocking on their door
for they will then be truely free

2008-04-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

one long hard look is more than enough to realise
kinda,
i kinda think this world is a mess
i kinda like the way life is
i kinda hate life sometimes
i kinda forget about God sometimes

love sky or sky love is super nice :D

2008-04-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

i wonder when this whole madness is going to end

you either love the world or love God.

2008-04-09T06:49:00.000-07:00

ritz biscuit is nice
and chicken is more popular than donkey ;D
i can very happily announce that
I CAN FIX THE RUBIK CUBE!
thanks to rachel :)
sch is fun and sometimes boring and perhaps sucks
anyway the quote is supposedly
" the world is filled with hideous and distorted shadows"
i agree to a great extent

2008-04-08T03:25:00.000-07:00

the world is manifested with evil distorted spirits
i agree.
im dumb
maybe i need some brains to replace my dumb one
"so you make your face a mask " bang bang you're dead
masks, ugly masks indeed
i finally realised what the world is really like
and how dumb i am
there are so many people out there
waiting waiting and waiting to kill you or hurt you
while im just stoning there as they crowd around me,
ready to attack
im dumb or stupid or slow or all of the above
people need to open their eyes and see how the world out there is really like
human nature just sucks.